However a lady, who actively corresponds with men often doesn't want to meet with him in the real life. She knows that the date in real life will bring their correspondence to the end. So, a lady is not going to meet with her pen pal; that is why she can trust him her secret thoughts and ideas not being afraid that he will betray her. Such a lady uses pen pal as a priest confessing to him, i.e. telling him everything that she can't tell her real partner and friends.
Time passes. Man is waiting for a real meeting. He needs to know if the lady is going to meet with him in the real life. If she is not, he can be frank with her, tell her all details of his intimate life and he can develop virtual relations in any way. If she is, a man usually is very cautious and doesn't tell much his pen pal. He doesn't want to be ashamed when he meets his lady in the real life. He doesn't even suspect that the lady who is so frankly talking about her feelings and personal life with him will never become his real partner.